Over my 30-year career, I’ve encountered various types of people and personalities. I’ve been able, after much experience, to pick out the positive and negative. I’ve also, throughout the years, come across several individuals who I refer to as “Energy Vampires”, who feed off the energy of others in such a way as to emotionally drain them whole. Who are these people, why are they this way and what can be done?
Energy vampires are generally people who live their lives with constant chaos or drama. They tend to magnify small problems, usually their own, into larger issues and attempt to drag others into them. They may also lack self-accountability for their problems, play the victim card and are their own worst enemy. They can be rather good at martyrdom.
Some energy vampires are hyper-competitive and critical. They thrive on intimidation, keeping others on guard and defensive, which over time, is emotionally draining. Energy vampires may also operate on guilt and become very difficult to work or live with. They may lie, manipulate, bully and be exceptionally talented at selling themselves but not delivering.
Generally speaking, these individuals are missing something emotionally inside themselves. They have unmet needs and aren’t quite sure how to fulfill them in healthy ways. In a sense, being an energy vampire may be a dysfunctional coping mechanism. So, how should they be respectfully and professionally handled?
First and foremost, maintain your own boundaries with them. Remember the old Italian legend that a vampire can enter one’s home only if it is invited in. Don’t give into their behaviors. Stay emotionally strong. Be kind, but short. Help them identify their unmet needs. It is also wise to not contribute or allow behaviors, because you’ll only reinforce them, making them even stronger energy vampires. In other words, don’t feed them what they crave! And if none of this works, cut them out of your life!